Catch me when i'm falling, baby(:

I LOVE YOU MUHAMMAD HAFIQ!

Saturday, July 11

{ 11.7.09 on 'This post is long &sorry it's emotional :'(' }

Sometimes i wonder ,do i deserve your love ?
Sometimes i wonder ,do i deserve to have you back ?

Let me tell you this ,you'll be my last love .
You'll be my last goodbye ,no matter it'll be a bitter or sweet one .
Still ,if we were to part one day ,you'll be in my memories .
You'll be the best one ever ,you are one in my life .

Thanks for coming into my life back again ,after 8months of separation ,
Thanks for lighting up my life with your lame jokes &riddles ,
trying to make me happy and smile like i used to /always did .
Thanks for making this darkness in my life disappear bit by bit .
Thanks for your love ,care ,concern and everything .

May Allah bless you ;D

Its seven months we're together back on track ,
Going through all sorts of bittersweet ups & downs together .
Never ,I've never regret having this comeback . I'm happy ,
I'm happy that someone is willing to shower love on me sincerely ,
Not someone who will cheat my feelings in the back .
I'm glad you dont treat me bad like how my girl's guys treated them .
I'm glad you're different from all the guys whom i called jerks .
Sorry for being harsh just now ,i'm really pissed . Really .
I just cant control my anger ,sorry for letting it all out on you .
I knw you're not at fault ,even a single bit . You woke up early today ,
I was impressed ,this is like the first weekend you woke up early .

Its all thanks to my fucking 3rd bro ,he knows i wanted to go out ,
So he left just before i do ,quietly so that i cant go out .
Which means i need to take care of my two lil' siblings ,
So the only solution i had was to ask you coming over .
My line was clear ,i was thinking positively .

I tot you're getting ready when you took a long time to reply ,
But instead ,you're not even out yet ,(pissed again) .

(if you went out just now at the time i told you to come over , we would have a chance to escape the house at 5plus , cause my fucking 3rd bro is back &OUT AGAIN !!!?!?!?!!)

Soo ,i texted you and you said you wanna get ready ,
I waited and waited ,and still get to knw you're at home .
Bro came back home like ,AGAIN ! &after 30mins ,out AGAIN ?!?!?!!
You told me that you didnt receive my msg ,i swear it was delivered .
Blame it on your reception then ,i couldnt have lied could i ? NO .

I dont wish to elaborate even further ,i think its enough .
I think i'm too much ,i need to control my anger .

I dont have any real friends ,they come and go .
Why should i care ,call themselves friends . Hah ,go die okay ? (:

I wanted to go ECP and calm my mind after Dad reached home ,
Then suddenly it was raining super-heavily (NO HOPE GOING OUT!)
I wanted to play in the rain downstairs ,even when i cry ,no one knows .
But then ,i hold myself back ,i cant let myself fall sick . (Plan 2 failed)

So ,i decided to sit in the bedroom ,looking outside the windows ,
Staring at the sky pouring ,& me ,Hugging my bolster ,his white vest &Afiel .
Tears keep on running ,it just cant stop .

My watch vibrates ,it shows 9pm . I realised that ,
I've been crying for the past 2hours ,wthell Eeilaa ? Com'on ,cheer up .
I tell myself that ,but i keep on breaking down and tearing .
I just cant stop ,i dont know why . I dont why i'm soo sad :'(
His white vest &Afiel is all wet ,

I woke up and realised that its 11pm ,my project is not done :(

(I wanted to go out just now but i dont know why i dont want to with you ,why eeilaa?)

My project due on Monday ,and here i am still stuck with alot :( Boo ~

I'm having terrible headache &high-fever now ,yayy? Hoho .

I'll let you decide ,if you wanna lemme go ,i'm fine with it .
If you still want us to continue ,can you handle me the way i am now ?

I'm not cheerful like i used to ,everything around me is different ,
that makes me feeling down & blue every moment .

Only you ,my last love ,yes you'll be my last love .
Only you ,the one whom i shared my everything to ,
Only you ,whom i considered my family .
Only you ,whom has showered me with care & love .
Only you ,whom tried your best to cheer me up .
Only you ,whom tried your very best to make me happy .
Only you ,whom i love .

I think i shall stop here ,i just cant stop tearing while typing .
I need to control my emotions ,i'm just so sad ,down and depressed .
Sigh*

Till here ,toodles ~
I love HAFIQ ,my last love .

Assalamua'laikum wr. wb.

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