Haixx, why must my life be this way? I never wanted all this to happen, yet alone facing my problems. I feel like giving up, putting everything aside, quit everything that i'm doing now, get myself choke, and die. I'm tired of crying, my tears are precious y'know? But i cant help myself from crying. I may be smiling away, but deep inside me, i'm dying. No one knows that except for myself cause i'm bearing all the pains in me. You may start tagging and saying that i'm spouting nonsense but heyya, mind you, this is my blog, my say okay? If you dont want to read, just click the [x] button, easy! Well, have you people ever tried to put yourself in my shoes? Have you ever feel how i still can survive and cope with life? Have you ever feel how it feels like having to support yourself at such a young age? I have to work is not because i want the money for my own use, i need to spend it wisely. But sometimes, i'm just indulge into shopping and tend to overspend :/ Many of you have asked me " Aren't you tired of having to rush to work after school? " And my reply will be: " I need to support my own living, my education. Thats why i work, if can. I don't want to. Its super-tiring. I must manage my time well ". Ah, i've never felt what it feels like having a family and sharing love among us, family members. I do own a family, but i don't feel like i'm home. I feel as if i'm a stranger and being thrown into another side of the world. I never feel the h a p p i n e s s, N E V E R! Where is my family that i used to know whom can get along very well? Where is the happiness i used to have? Where is my used-to-be mum? Where is everyone? I never feel appreciated, and sometimes, i feel like there's no point living already. Idk what i should do now. I still want to achieve my future, i want to achieve my dreams. I wanna be in those position i've always dreamt of. I always prayed that my life wont be taken away fast cause i wanna gain back all my happiness, like before. But maybe i wont be able to, cause everyone will leave this beautiful place called earth someday, sooner or later. No one can understand me. No one knows i'm suffering, cause i always played the role of happy-go-lucky girl. I always tried to escape from reality and play pretence. I pretended to be a happy kid, with a big fat smile plastered on my face and i laughed eventhough i dont find it funny. I just want to make myself feel happy, and feel contented. Oh yar, i dont need anyone to sympathise me alright, just read and understand me will do. And right now, idk if Muhammad Hafiq is really with me cause one moment we're happy talking craps, and another moment, we're muting ourselves. O M G! Just see whats happening here. I dont feel the chemistry between us. Idk to who i can spill out my problems to, its so hard, cause i feel that its more secure keeping it to myself but i wont get anywhere. It hurts alot, i swear it hurts. Bye, i'm off to work now :S

Haixx, why must my life be this way? I never wanted all this to happen, yet alone facing my problems. I feel like giving up, putting everything aside, quit everything that i'm doing now, get myself choke, and die. I'm tired of crying, my tears are precious y'know? But i cant help myself from crying. I may be smiling away, but deep inside me, i'm dying. No one knows that except for myself cause i'm bearing all the pains in me. You may start tagging and saying that i'm spouting nonsense but heyya, mind you, this is my blog, my say okay? If you dont want to read, just click the [x] button, easy! Well, have you people ever tried to put yourself in my shoes? Have you ever feel how i still can survive and cope with life? Have you ever feel how it feels like having to support yourself at such a young age? I have to work is not because i want the money for my own use, i need to spend it wisely. But sometimes, i'm just indulge into shopping and tend to overspend :/ Many of you have asked me " Aren't you tired of having to rush to work after school? " And my reply will be: " I need to support my own living, my education. Thats why i work, if can. I don't want to. Its super-tiring. I must manage my time well ". Ah, i've never felt what it feels like having a family and sharing love among us, family members. I do own a family, but i don't feel like i'm home. I feel as if i'm a stranger and being thrown into another side of the world. I never feel the h a p p i n e s s, N E V E R! Where is my family that i used to know whom can get along very well? Where is the happiness i used to have? Where is my used-to-be mum? Where is everyone? I never feel appreciated, and sometimes, i feel like there's no point living already. Idk what i should do now. I still want to achieve my future, i want to achieve my dreams. I wanna be in those position i've always dreamt of. I always prayed that my life wont be taken away fast cause i wanna gain back all my happiness, like before. But maybe i wont be able to, cause everyone will leave this beautiful place called earth someday, sooner or later. No one can understand me. No one knows i'm suffering, cause i always played the role of happy-go-lucky girl. I always tried to escape from reality and play pretence. I pretended to be a happy kid, with a big fat smile plastered on my face and i laughed eventhough i dont find it funny. I just want to make myself feel happy, and feel contented. Oh yar, i dont need anyone to sympathise me alright, just read and understand me will do. And right now, idk if Muhammad Hafiq is really with me cause one moment we're happy talking craps, and another moment, we're muting ourselves. O M G! Just see whats happening here. I dont feel the chemistry between us. Idk to who i can spill out my problems to, its so hard, cause i feel that its more secure keeping it to myself but i wont get anywhere. It hurts alot, i swear it hurts. Bye, i'm off to work now :S